The Top 10 Things Men In Their 50s Want In A Woman
Growing up to your 40's and 50's takes time, yet it feels like it happens all so quickly. By the time you reach those years, a lot of things have changed. All your actions,
decisions, needs and wants evolve as your life experience growths.
In the end, we all change, and this can certainly be applied to how we see life, happiness and relationships. When we look at dating, adults in their 40's and 50's evolve to have different needs than they did when they were younger.
So imagine you're returning to dating and you’re looking for a mature man. You might wonder: what they are looking for? Are they still the same as they were in their younger days? The truth is this: their needs and wants change, and mostly for the better!
This article will look at the main characteristics that attract mature men to a woman. It is based on the most popular consensus across the web, as well as data found online.
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Men Over 50 Want To Feel Needed
Starting off with an important point, men in their later years want to feel that they are contributing to your life. They want to give to you, they want to feel useful.
What this translates to as far as expectations from a woman is that they expect you to allow them to play their part.
Whether it is helping out with building work or taking care of other specific aspects of daily life; men just want you to allow them to contribute to your wellbeing. This doesn't mean that they don't appreciate your independence, but rather they want to feel like they play an important role in your life.
"Men want to feel like your hero. We want to feel like we're rescuing you from life. I'm not talking about emotionally rescuing you, or any unhealthy co-dependency here. I'm talking about us wanting to make you feel loved, honored, and adored."(1) Men show their love with their actions. It is therefore a good idea to let men help you with their contributions, even if you are used to do a lot of things by yourself. Looking at this from a female perspective, women can sympathise and relate to that. Deep down, most of us want to feel useful, and that feeling only grows with age.
Mature Men Are More Interested In Relationships.
This is a point of differentiation, or at least this notion does challenge some of our expectations about men. While we often assume of younger men that they might be more
interested in having fun and short term-relationships; the trend is the opposite when it comes to mature dating.
Men in their 50's will prefer a woman who is also relationship orientated, sharing the sort of values that are associated with such concept.
"Faithfulness, supportiveness and reliability are therefore traits that older men feel more attracted to, as opposed to being attracted to unpredictability and adventure." This doesn't mean that men in their later years don't want to have fun, but their priorities are just different and more mature than when they are younger. It also explains why men marry at older ages than women in countries like the UK (2).
Men In Their Later Years Want To Rekindle In Romance.
This is different from wanting a relationship, and it is more about how that relationship starts and how it continues to be over time. While there is the cliché of old men just wanting to sit down
and enjoy a predictable routine, the reality is that men in their 50's are more interested in romance than when they are in their 20's and 30's.
This is reflected when we find out that men typically outscore women on the 'Romantic Beliefs Scale', a study that compared gender role-orientation and looked at gender attitudes towards romance (3). "Romance is an important part of keeping a relationship together, as it allows to regularly re-kindle that flame that is burning between the two of you." Some romantic qualities can therefore go along way if you're looking at dating mature men yourself. Ultimately, men want to be satisfied when it comes to their emotions. They will enjoy spending special moments together that will make them feel loved, and also that will remind them of the love they feel for you.
Older Men Love It When You Bring Out The Masculinity Within Them.
Men in their later years will act more masculine than in their younger years, and this goes beyond just wanting to feel useful. It is more about validation, that they are indeed a man with all
the attributes that come with it.
They will love that you feel protected by them, and they will often relish any opportunity to feel masculine. This could be doing some physical work, carrying heavy things around...
It has been observed that older men cling to the 1950's and 1960's masculine value (4). It therefore makes sense that men over their 50's will come across as more masculine than people from later generations.
This can be a bit overbearing at times, but if we reverse the situation, most women also want men to bring out their feminine side. "Being made to feel like we are representing our own gender is part of finding our role in a relationship, so it is a good thing not to take that away from your partner." So don't forget that even if it can feel like we are patting our partner on the back, this sort of positive reinforcement can play a long way into establishing the dynamics of a relationship and the different roles people play into it.
Men In Their 50's Want More Than Just Sex.
This is very much worth mentioning. We stated earlier that older men prefer relationships and favour romance, but that doesn't mean they are not interest in having sex. However, it seems
like they are there for the whole package, rather than just wanting to have fun.
"The real magic of sex doesn't just exist in the midst of intercourse. What happens before and after add to the whole experience of sex, and older partners are champions at making those parts matter just as much."(5) Men want sex to be something more, with more feelings and emotions attached. In these day where no-strings relationships are more common, it is great to hear that older men generally see women as much more than just someone to have sex with.
What this also means is that they expect women not to treat them like they are just being used for sex. They want to feel valued and loved, while also feeling sexually adequate.
Mature Men Value Intelligence.
Notall men in their 50's will want to get together with a scientist or a genius, but they do appreciate a woman being intelligent. As much as older men love to feel useful, they also want
someone else that can help them make the right decisions in their everyday life.
As masculine as they get, men in their 50's don't mind being challenged as long as there are good intelligent reasons behind it. It is a case of them recognising reason over wanting to be right.
Professor David Bainbridge from the University of Cambridge revealed that the main thing men are looking for in a woman is intelligence. He says, it is because intelligence shows that a woman will be able to look after her children (6).
How this really translates for men in their later years is that they just appreciate if you can contribute and help them make the right decisions. Single Dads will be on the look for someone who can be intelligent enough to look after their children. It doesn't mean older men want to be challenged and second-guessed every step of the way. Instead, they just want a good team mate who can help them to make the right call and stop them from doing the wrong things. In other words, they want a contributing partner whom they can rely on to guide them towards the right path.
Men In Their Later Years Like A Fun Woman.
So far everything we mentioned about men in their 50's makes it sound like they are far too serious about dating, but the reality is
that they also want to have fun. They really appreciate a good sense of humour, and laughing as part of their day to day lives.
This does contrast with younger men who prefer being the source of that humour themselves to be the centre of attention. As men get older, and they actually appreciate your humorous inputs more than in their younger years.
In short, even though older men are more serious, they also need to have a good time and fun moments to alleviate all the stresses of everyday life. Looking online at popular forums, we can see that men do concede to enjoying women's sense of humour as they grow older. It is not something that is always the case when they are younger, but older age certainly does bring in more appreciation. (7)
Having a sense of humour is a good thing when it comes to dating mature men. You will need to be able to see the light and funny aspect of things yourself if you want to enjoy a relationship that is full of different emotions.
Mature Men Like Women Who Have Similar Values Than Them.
Older men recognise that having different values and principles can lead to a lot of clashing and arguing. This is due to experience,
realising that people who hold the same values simply get on better. What this means is that they expect women to hold similar points
of view, and at least agree on some fundamental basic principles.
"Don't be too serious: Try to relax and seek out companionship based on shared values and common interests." (8) Men in their later years don't expect to you to agree with every single point they make, but they do want to share the same fundamental principles. They understand that people who are alike make for a more stable relationship.
Therefore it is best that they find a woman who agrees with them on most things in life, as opposed to finding a woman whom they will try to change over the course of their relationship.
Men In Their Later Years Value Ambition In A Woman
There might be a cliché about men still wanting to be the bread winners, but in reality older men have gone to really appreciate a
woman who has ambition. This is because older men value teamwork a whole lot more, and they appreciate that their woman has goals
Not all men appreciate ambition in a woman, but men in their later years are attracted towards women's independence and they are happy when women want to achieve things in their lives.
"For the men who can resist the initial intimidation of these successful women, they will relish in the energy that flows from them. And they can feed off that energy and use it to make themselves better." (9) As much as older men enjoy staying busy, they also expect that their partner will feel happier if they have things going for themselves. They love to see women being happy doing what they do best, and it also takes some attention away from them so they are not always at the centre of things.
Older Men Want Women To Be Themselves.
In a similar way that they want to be accepted as who they are, men also expect women to be themselves. They appreciate the spirit of
compromise, but they want a partner who shows their true character.
"If you're true to yourself, it is easier to act in ways that build intimacy in relationships, and that's going to make your relationship more fulfilling" (10) Older men have realised that women are not a project, they aren't someone they can change to their mould. In shorter words: they want you to be yourself, and they can determine from there if you are compatible.
Experience has shown men that pretending to be someone else for the sake of the relationship mostly leads to a failure of said relationship. You should therefore be yourself and from there you will find the right man who will accept you for who you are.
So What Do Men In Their 50's Want?
To sum it, men in their later years become more serious about their relationships, and they also want to feel like they are valued.
At first this doesn't strike as being anything particularly exceptional. However when we compare it to their younger counterparts,
we realise that mature men are indeed more mature about how they approach dating.
What this means is that they also want women to be a little more mature, more decisive and they value women's contributions to the relationship. The best way to approach men in their 50's is therefore with as much respect as they treat us with. If you are looking for a long term relationship in your later years, you will be pleased to know that most mature men are looking for the exact same thing.
Just For The 40+
SingleAndMature.com is the leading senior dating site, committed to helping people in their 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s to meet like-minded people for friendship or love.
OlderHearts.com has a great reputation for helping older singles find love. It's for people looking for a committed relationship so if this sounds like you, give it a go!
MatureSinglesAgency.com suits the young at heart! People in the 40-60 bracket who want to meet fun, like-minded people should try this one.